As writers, we’re always interviewing people, but no-one ever gets to know our deepest thoughts, so I decided to interview the hard-working Beatreview team with some inane questions (they’re the most revealing, don’t you know?).
I started with John, one of the longest-serving writers. He mostly writes about music and stuff.
If you were on death row, what would you want around you in your last 24 hours?
If I was on death row, I would want my love of my life, my iPad, with me. I couldn’t live without it, mainly due to the music, football manager and I could tweet about what I was experiencing. Also a guitar wouldn’t go amiss.
And what would your last meal be?
My last meal would be a chicken jalfrezi curry, onion bhajis, poppadoms, unlimited supply of naan bread with the works, and for dessert, the most indulgent chocolate fudge cake known to man.
If you were a superhero, what would your superpower be?
If I was a superhero, my super power would be a mix of teleportation and time travel. I would find it fascinating to go back in time, go to certain events and being the gentlemen I am to stop bad things happening and save the world. Hurrah!
(So basically he wants to be Doctor Who).
What are your favourite places in Cardiff to eat, drink, watch live music and dance in?
My favourite place to eat in Cardiff would be the Spice Merchant in the Bay great place to go if you’re into your Indians. To drink: Now that’s a easy one – Gwdihw. Live music, it depends on the gig, there isn’t a venue I love but i would probably say Undertone as it’s dark, gritty and has more of an atmosphere than most. Best place to dance, well, I’ve been known to make a complete fool of myself upstairs in Clwb Ifor Bach. I enjoy that immensely.
Can you do a cartwheel?
Yes, I can do a cartwheel. I practice them on a daily basis as I’m quite a flexible person, don’t you know…?
You have the power to create a supergroup. Who is in it (they have to be alive)?
Ok, this is my favourite question. On drums, I would have Matthew Tong from Bloc Party – he is one of the best, most frantic drummers I’ve ever seen. On bass, I would have Carlos D (ex Interpol), the most coolest and arrogant fucker to walk this earth. On lead guitar, I would have Laura-Mary Carter from Blood Red Shoes because I fancy her and she rocks the shit out of a guitar. On rhythm guitar and backing vocals, the amazing Trent Reznor from Nine Inch Nails. On keys, Jens “Jence” Moelle from Digitalism, and lead singer, I would have Hamilton Leithauser from The Walkmen. He is the perfect singer who can do angry and mellow and someone I truly admire.
If you could eat one animal for the rest of your life, what would it be?
I would have to say chicken, you could have it at any time of the day and it goes with so much other food, I would try and be very creative if needed.
Who is better: Ant or Dec?
Ant or Dec? Neither, if the question is which one I would kill first it would be Dec just so I could see Ant cry like a baby then I would gladly pour acid over his massive forehead and watch him dissolve. I’m quite a disturbed person with a negative mentality when it comes to talentless wankers.
(Well, that wasn’t the question, but thanks for the insight. Sicko.)